WASHINGTON – I want to be the Freedom of Information Act Girl.

The next Robin Hood, taking the public’s right-to-know information from King John (also known as the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services FOIA group) and giving it to the poor (journalists).

But the last time I stormed the CMS castle, the guards made me pop the hood and the trunk of the car, and stuck their heads in the car to make sure I wasn’t going to destroy the fortress. They were pretty beefy; I only had high heels. Not a good start as FOIA-Girl.

The 14-week saga in which FOIA-Girl appeared in my nightmares started in mid-April, when my science writing instructor in Chicago asked if I’d be interested in doing a FOIA project for the Association of Health Care Journalists.

I would file a “Freedom of Information Act” request with the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services for a list of journalists who filed FOIAs in the last 10 years. Then I would track down the journalists, survey them and summarize the results.

My report would be a part of a bigger project the ACHJ is doing to gauge how well federal agencies respond to FOIA requests.

It sounded easy enough because last year a handful of Medill students FOIA’d the FDA. Their request was processed in less than eight weeks.

I’m on week 14 and just got my list today.

Here’s the timeline:

April 28: FOIA filed.

May 9: Center FOIA officials respond to my request and tell me they are working on it.

In between, I do what I do best: be a pain in the butt. By the third week the FOIA officer knows me by name and case number.

All through June, I call and call and call. I don’t understand why it is taking so long. Granted, they have to weed out the journalists from the full FOIA request list and I don’t know how their filing system works, but it’s a list – should it really take this long?

July 8: Because my deadline is approaching, I rent a car and go to the Health and Human Services building (where CMS lives), which is just outside of Baltimore, to show my face and to let them know that I have a serious deadline and I seriously need my information.

I couldn’t get past security, and no one at the FOIA desk picked up the phone to let me in. I couldn’t even get to the reading room, where other federal agencies make their FOIA logs available.

I get back to Washington quickly and type up a formal letter requesting my FOIA be expedited and fax it over to CMS.

July 10 or 11: The officer handling my request calls me to say she has the names of journalists from the last nine years, but the researcher can’t find ones for the 10th year. I tell her that’s fine, I’m happy with nine years.

She says I should have it “very soon,” but needs two more signoffs.

For almost three more weeks, I keep calling, getting the woman on the phone only a couple of times, and she’s still vague on where my FOIA is, can’t give me a date, but assures me it will be soon.

I’m getting more nervous and frustrated – the questionnaire is finished and ready to be sent out, the presentation is outlined, all I need is this list so I can get my project done.

July 24: I file a complaint, citing the FOIA law mandate that requests be filled in a reasonable amount of time. Twelve weeks is not a reasonable amount of time.

July 25: My FOIA officer leaves me a voice message saying she has been moving my request through as “expeditiously” as possible, and her office is dealing with a large backlog and I should be getting my request soon.

Try as I might, I can’t think of any combination of words that could express how frustrated I was. I call her back Monday, but it goes to her voicemail. I want to talk to her in person, so I try again on Tuesday, but no one picks up on her end.

Wednesday I leave a message, and I try to get her on the phone again Thursday and Friday, but no one answers.

Aug. 5: I’m convinced my request is in the trash when the FOIA officer calls, tells me she is waiting on one more signature from the FOIA-man-in-chief and she’ll call when he signs my request off.

Around 1:30 p.m. she calls again to tell me that my request is finished, she put it in the mail and I should get it tomorrow or the next day.

The 517-page list is now in my hands. Instead of sorting out the journalists, they gave me logs with everyone. There is an “M” marked by the journalists.

I felt powerless in this FOIA saga, but if I ever have to FOIA the government again, FOIA-Girl will return!