By Molly Bookner
\n<\/b>Medill Reports<\/i><\/p>\n
Celiac disease, an autoimmune condition that prevents an individual from properly digesting gluten, can have unforeseen impacts. One of those, according to a 2022 PubMed research study<\/a>, the results of which were published on Celiac.org<\/a>, is a person\u2019s dating life. The study found that nearly 70% of those surveyed reported the disease had \u201cmajor\/moderate\u201d impacts on their romantic lives, resulting in hesitation toward dating and kissing, decreased quality of life, greater social anxiety and riskier eating attitudes and behaviors.<\/p>\n \u201cA real priority for these types of participants is finding someone who’s understanding and compassionate and isn’t going to judge these restrictions,\u201d said Jessica Lebovits, a New York-based nutritionist and one of the study\u2019s lead researchers.<\/p>\n I can attest to the study\u2019s findings firsthand. Thirteen years ago, I was sitting in my kitchen eating a floppy, oil-dripping slice of New York pizza. My mom received a call from my gastroenterologist, who confirmed my endoscopy and biopsy indicated the immune reaction to gluten. While I quickly learned from medical professionals what I could and could not safely eat, no one prepared me for the anxiety-riddled reality of dating on a restrictive diet \u2014 and evidently, I\u2019m not the only one.<\/p>\n While this study solely recruited celiac disease patients, experts say the findings likely apply to others following special diets.<\/p>\n \u201cI remember when I was little, like before dating age, hearing about the infamous Peanut Butter Kiss,\u201d said Kansas City\u2019s Grace Guthrie, a 28-year-old Garmin employee with a master\u2019s degree in nutrition. Shannon Meade, a Virginia state health department worker who resides near Charlottesville, Virginia, and has 15 severe food allergies, relates to this allergy-induced anxiety. \u201cI would develop a lot of anxiety about the things that I was eating and places to go where I was eating, and that became a catalyst for a lot of different things that ended my marriage,\u201d she says of her adult-onset allergies.<\/p>\n While many conditions force people to change their diets, Linda Van Horn, professor and chief of the Nutrition Division at Northwestern University\u2019s Department of Preventive Medicine, says allergies have increased across the board. \u201cYour relationship, I believe, could be made or broken on the basis of that individual’s willingness to accommodate (your dietary restriction),\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Look no further for six expert-backed ways to support a romantic partner who is following a special diet.<\/p>\n Good communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and when one partner has a severe dietary restriction, this becomes even more paramount. Once you\u2019ve established what this person can, and cannot, eat, ask, \u201cWhat does it look like for you to feel good and supported by me?\u201d New York psychotherapist and relationship coach Sanaa Hyder says. It\u2019s also valuable to ask not only what your partner can <\/em>eat but what they like <\/em>to eat. \u201cPeople are like, \u2018Oh, I got this gluten-free thing for you,\u2019\u201d Lebovits said, \u201cand you’re like, ‘That’s so sweet, but you didn’t ask me any questions.'”<\/p>\n Once you and your date have established a solid foundation, ask more specific questions, says Sara Casey, a dietitian nutritionist and past President of the Chicago Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. This could mean asking what to do if you and your partner spontaneously find yourselves at a restaurant that isn\u2019t accommodating or asking if you should even mention the restriction. \u201cSometimes, the person with the restriction feels like such a burden and doesn’t want to deal with it,\u201d Casey said.<\/p>\n But if your significant other prefers to do most of the legwork, respect these wishes. \u201cI had to take some of the control out of (my dates\u2019) hands,\u201d said Meade, who used to email her potential suitors explaining her various allergies and rules for taking her out. \u201cEven though people have the best intentions of not trying to kill you, it is one of those things that they will try to kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>Open communication and thoughtful questions are necessary but don\u2019t replace education. \u201cLearn how to read food labels, read packages, menus and things like that to know what words \u2014 that might not be super obvious \u2014 we need to watch out for,\u201d Casey said. If you\u2019re dating someone with a life-threatening allergy, you need to know how to read ingredient labels and use an EpiPen. \u201cI told (one of my dates), \u2018I need you not to forget because something that is a little bit of a forgetful thing for you can really harm me,\u201d Meade said of a date who took her to a place ripe with peanuts.<\/p>\n Furthermore, if your partner\u2019s diet results from a medical condition, like celiac or Crohn\u2019s disease, research that condition on your own to take some pressure off your partner to explain every facet of it to you. Doing so will likely impress them and encourage better conversations.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>Sometimes, planning a date without food is the easiest thing to do, Casey says. \u201cNo one has to worry about it or think about it.\u201d More specifically, Lebovits advocates for choosing \u201cactivities over meals,\u201d like catching a movie, hiking or wandering around a museum.<\/p>\n If the date coincides with a mealtime, both nutritionists encourage cooking together. \u201cEveryone’s kind of learning together with this, and you can make it personal,\u201d Casey said. But depending on the person\u2019s condition or allergy, you should thoroughly clean kitchen appliances or invest in separate cutting boards, knives, pots, pans and other items to prevent cross-contamination.<\/p>\n To ease the burden for your date, call or email restaurants ahead of time, Lebovits says. Then, you should reconfirm safe menu items with a server or chef once you arrive. As Van Horn points out, most restaurants these days accommodate people following special diets, and many even label their menus for common allergens, like gluten, nuts and shellfish. But you do need to know what kinds of questions to ask \u2014 specifically regarding cross-contamination \u2014 if you take charge of the date, Meade says. \u201cYou’ll be surprised how many restaurants will put things on the grill according to space, but not necessarily according to meats or anything like that,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Meeting a significant other\u2019s parents is an exciting, albeit nerve-wracking, relationship milestone. But for those with dietary restrictions, it can be a source of even greater anxiety. \u201cI feel awkward bringing up my allergy, especially if we\u2019re going over to my partner’s family’s house,\u201d said Guthrie, who prefers that her partner mention it. \u201c(My boyfriend) insists it is a severe allergy, not just a little irritation.\u201d While this certainly applies to home-cooked family meals, it also pertains to eating out.<\/p>\n It\u2019s OK to feel overwhelmed by your partner\u2019s dietary restrictions from time to time and the role you must play in helping to manage them. But it\u2019s unacceptable to ignore these restrictions or pretend to understand them when you do not, as this can put your partner at serious risk.<\/p>\n \u201cAt any point, you have the choice to say, \u2018Hey, look, this is too much for me; I\u2019m out,\u2019 which is totally valid,\u201d Hyder said. \u201cOr, it could be that you both decide, \u2018This relationship is more important to me than the work we have to put in to manage this issue.\u201d Staying together and working as a team to manage the restriction will deepen a couple\u2019s intimacy.<\/p>\n Molly Bookner is Magazine specialization student at Medill. You can follow her on Twitter at <\/em>@MollyBookner<\/em><\/a> or connect via LinkedIn <\/em>here<\/em><\/a>. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" By Molly Bookner Medill Reports Celiac disease, an autoimmune condition that prevents an individual from properly digesting gluten, can have unforeseen impacts. One of those, according to a 2022 PubMed research study, the results of which were published on Celiac.org, is a person\u2019s dating life. The study found that nearly 70% of those surveyed reported […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":921,"featured_media":103222,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,5377],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-103221","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-and-science","category-spring-2023"],"yoast_head":"\n\n
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