{"id":16538,"date":"2015-06-10T16:38:28","date_gmt":"2015-06-10T21:38:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/news.medill.northwestern.edu\/chicago\/?p=16538"},"modified":"2015-06-10T21:49:07","modified_gmt":"2015-06-11T02:49:07","slug":"not-your-typical-poet-social-activist-caretaker-meet-ayinde-cartman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.medill.northwestern.edu\/chicago\/not-your-typical-poet-social-activist-caretaker-meet-ayinde-cartman\/","title":{"rendered":"Not your typical poet-social activist-caretaker: Meet Ayinde Cartman"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Bethel Habte<\/p>\n

The Fueling Station<\/h2>\n

A passing thunderstorm left tiny puddles in the courtyard entrance of Canvas, an art and performance studio in Wicker Park. The rain\u2019s clearing up and a crowd\u2019s trickling in. Every second Monday of the month the space hosts Gala, an open mic, where Ayinde Cartman refuels.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverything else is work, but this is replenishment,\u201d says Ayinde, a 26-year-old performance artist and musician.<\/p>\n

Ayinde drums and acts, but tonight he\u2019s a poet. Before the show starts, he\u2019s standing in the crowd as four, five, six friends greet him. He hugs one \u2013 another poet \u2013 wearing long giraffe earrings and asks how she\u2019s doing.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot good,\u201d she pouts, before laughing at her own frankness.<\/p>\n

Canvas\u2019 walls are filled with paintings and a pegboard with yarn strung into geometric designs. Red stage lights heat up the room along with the warm bodies filing in. An emcee lets Ayinde know he\u2019ll be one of the first up on a long list of acts.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat should I perform?\u201d he asks in a soft voice that just barely rises above the music. He strokes his face and looks down at his feet. He stands a little above six feet tall, with thick black-rimmed glasses and pec-length locs that his sister helped him start to twist during his sophomore year of high school. Most of them are tied in a low bun with a few paintbrush-thick strands falling over his shoulders and chest.<\/p>\n

When it\u2019s his turn on stage, he\u2019s still unsure of what poem to perform. The crowd tries to help him out by calling out the names of a few he\u2019s done before.<\/p>\n

Finally, he claps his hands and looks up. He fixes his eyes straight into the crowd.<\/p>\n

He erupts.<\/p>\n

\u201cFOOD DESERT.\u201d<\/p>\n

The next lines \u2013 and more \u2013 hurl out of him, seamlessly strung together in a flood of acrimony:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere is my kale on 79th and Jeffery?\u201d <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhy do I have to drive 20 minutes for <\/em>ground stuff?\u201d
\n<\/em>
\n\u201cIt\u2019s preserved! It\u2019s fried! It\u2019s fat! It\u2019s fraudulent!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not about the resilience of our children! It\u2019s about how they shouldn\u2019t! Have! To be! Resilient!\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"Ayinde<\/a>
Ayinde performs “Food Desert” at the Gala’s new location at Canvas in Wicker Park. (Bethel Habte\/Medill)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

After he\u2019s done, a full 15 seconds of applause fills the air.\u00a0 Ayinde smiles and steps off the stage. One emcee, a high school counselor on the South Side by day, tells the crowd that his students eat Flaming Hot Cheetos for breakfast.<\/p>\n

Afterward, Ayinde gets a stream of compliments from friends and people in the crowd.<\/p>\n

He hates compliments. He thinks his delivery takes attention away from the issues he\u2019s trying to highlight.<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of what makes my material hit is how relevant it is, as opposed to the writing itself,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, they could just be agreeable choir members.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nice to be around the choir, to folks that you don\u2019t have to explain this to.\u201d<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Q41FFFbA_3A<\/a><\/p>\n

Ayinde performs “Prisons” at the Gala in January. (Video by Bryant Cross)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

But Ayinde didn\u2019t just adopt this mission to promote social justice – he\u2019s cultivated in it. That\u2019s thanks in large part to his mother, Carla, who Ayinde says has been an example of kindness toward others and a source of love growing up.<\/p>\n

But now, at age 58, she’s\u00a0 living with early-onset dementia. As Ayinde paves his way as a performer and an artist, he\u2019s also reimagining himself as something else entirely: a caregiver.<\/p>\n

Roots<\/h1>\n

Ayinde mentions a corner on the South Side in his poem, but he\u2019s lived his whole life in Richton Park, a suburb south of the city limits.<\/p>\n

Either his father, a chiropractor, or his mother, a homemaker, would make the drive into the southern reaches of the city to his and his siblings\u2019 elementary school. They made the long trek so their children could attend Afrocentric institutions \u2013 private and charter schools focused in African and African American history and culture.<\/p>\n

They would begin the day with a 15-minute drum circle. There were only black students. That didn\u2019t bother Ayinde, but \u201cset me up perfectly,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only way you can recognize your purpose\u2026is to have an extensive understanding of people and time before you,\u201d he says. \u201cIt made it easy to love different people and different cultures because what was ingrained in me was self-love. When you have self-love, it\u2019s just easy to extend that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Home life and school life were one in the same. His best friend, Jihad Kheperu, 24, is the son of his old kindergarten teacher. They wound up attending elementary, high school and college together.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy the way, it was not intentional,\u201d Kheperu says, laughing. \u201cHe\u2019s not that<\/em> awesome.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Kehperu<\/a>
Kheperu (front) next to Ayinde in elementary school. (Ayinde Cartman\/Facebook)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Ayinde was also embedded in support and love at home. He was his mother\u2019s baby and was treated as such. He and his brothers and father drummed together. Taheera, his older sister, would watch his performances and encouraged their parents to put Ayinde in a magnet high school. (He later landed a full-ride to college). His father owned a successful chiropractic business and they grew up comfortably.<\/p>\n

But the beacon of that home life love was his mother, Carla Cartman.<\/p>\n

\u201cEverybody called her mom,\u201d Taheera, 31, says. \u201cShe would just take you in and you could come stay the night, stay for days if you want. She\u2019d cook, make sure you were comfortable. She\u2019d even teach you a lesson. She was just the sweetest thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

But what Ayinde calls his charmed life wasn\u2019t without hardships.<\/p>\n

He has younger half siblings, the result of his father\u2019s infidelity, he says. When Ayinde was 16, his father, a champion scuba diver, died drowning. He says his mother, coping with the fate of a man “you love and hate simultaneously,” sunk into depression.<\/p>\n

And then something strange happened to his mom, he says. It started with warm \u2013 but abnormal – gestures.<\/p>\n

Carla would get in her car, pick up strangers and give them rides home. But later, completely out of character, she would approach strangers with no inhibitions \u2013 commenting rudely on their looks or weight.<\/p>\n

At the same time, Carla was gaining weight herself, even though all her life she took her health seriously: watched what she ate, hired a personal trainer.<\/p>\n

Taheera remembers a time her mom said she was craving burgers from White Castle.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe were raised with no beef, no pork, no red meat at all,\u201d Taheera says. \u201cBut that was a childhood thing, so she was pretty much going back to the things that she loved. She was regressing before our eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ayinde noticed the differences even more acutely when he\u2019d return home from college on breaks.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe looked really young,\u201d Ayinde says, adding that most people mistook the 50-something for 30. \u201cSo when I came back and she began not to care as much about her appearance, that was just a clear sign that in no way is this the same mom.\u201d<\/p>\n

Carla was diagnosed with early-onset dementia during Ayinde\u2019s senior year in college.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was on autopilot,\u201d he says. \u201cI can adapt to anything, especially when I have to.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ayinde immediately moved back home after graduation to take care of her. Now, four years later and with help of three other siblings and his two uncles, Ayinde is ushering his mother into her 60s.<\/p>\n

Generations<\/h2>\n

He\u2019s not alone.<\/p>\n

As of 2008, the American Association of Retired People says 34 million unpaid caregivers support someone over age 18 who has a disability or is ill.<\/p>\n

As a large number of Baby Boomers age into retirement, younger family members are learning what it takes to provide home care. The U.S. Census reports<\/a> that in 2060, adults over 65 will make up 20 percent of the population. That\u2019s up from only 10 percent in 2010.<\/p>\n

\"Ayinde<\/a>
Ayinde and his mother, Carla. (Ayinde Cartman\/Facebook)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Some caregivers \u2013 in what\u2019s nicknamed the Sandwich Generation<\/a> \u2013 are raising their own children while taking care of their elders. Taheera falls into this category, but her 7-year-old daughter Zaire finds ways to help.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe kind of watches to make sure [Carla] doesn\u2019t hurt herself,\u201d Taheera says, adding that Zaire will say \u2018Mommy, grandma\u2019s up again!\u2019 \u201cShe\u2019s like a little security lady,\u201d she laughs.<\/p>\n

Ayinde says runaway attempts used to be more frequent in the past six months, but she also doesn\u2019t say much and moves a little slower than she used to. Taheera takes care of their mother\u2019s hygienic needs, while Ayinde, his brothers and uncle will pick up cooking and cleaning. They\u2019ve brought in a nurse who will stop by weekly to check their mother\u2019s vital signs.<\/p>\n

“It’s not easy. We just go with the flow,” Taheera says. “We knew how much she cared for us and how much she dropped for us. It’s like, ok, you did it for us. We’ll do it for you.”<\/p>\n

The thought that crosses both Taheera and Ayinde’s minds is that perhaps more early intervention could have prevented their mother’s decline.<\/p>\n

\n

“We knew how much she cared for us and how much she dropped for us. It’s like, ok, you did it for us. We’ll do it for you.” -Taheera<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u201cI think we all feel like we could\u2019ve saved her,\u201d Ayinde says.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought that she may just snap out of it, but I wish we could\u2019ve taken action,\u201d Taheera says. \u201cBring in the community, people that she knew, that we grew up with.\u201d<\/p>\n

Though Carla went to therapy, journal entries her children found revealed a depression deeper than they had previously realized.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe knew how much she loved\u2026how much that gave and took from her,\u201d Ayinde says. \u201cIt felt like she was incapable of curbing her emotional reactions to things to the point of losing her mind.\u201d<\/p>\n

But through it all, Ayinde says he tries hard to keep his mother\u2019s true self at the forefront of his mind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been struggling with not attaching myself to what she is now more than what she raised me like and what she has meant to me,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

More than anything, Ayinde says his mother showed him genuine kindness, something he tries to exercise as a friend, as an organizer and as an artist.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s definitely my most sensitive friend,\u201d Kheperu says. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t like it when I say that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ayinde wrote his first poem in his freshman year of high school about female circumcision.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was raised by my mother, so any major, systemic, cultural and spiritual thing destroying anything pertaining to women \u2013 it still to this day pisses me off,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve always found myself most useful lifting up other people\u2019s stories.\u201d<\/p>\n

So it goes<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s 10:30 p.m. and the Canvas courtyard\u2019s spilling over with people following the featured poet\u2019s act. The smell of rain still sticks in the air and the night\u2019s cooled down.<\/p>\n

Ayinde can\u2019t find the sweatshirt he took off while he was inside. Outdoor lights show he\u2019s got a big button on his shirt with the words \u201cI AM AFRICA\u201d splayed across a silhouette of the continent.<\/p>\n

We get into bigger questions of life, which is the apparent result of exposure to expressive poetry or exposure to a nosy reporter.<\/p>\n

If Ayinde could change anything with the snap of his finger, the first thing he\u2019d do is eliminate poverty since \u201cit makes people do everything else they do.\u201d The next thing he\u2019d do would involve something a little less tangible.<\/p>\n

Creating \u201cbetter ways of establishing \u2013 through our systems \u2013 how to treat each other like people.\u201d<\/p>\n

He mentioned this in another interview.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell-being and happiness is not important to our overarching government and society,\u201d he says. \u201cSo I don\u2019t want to ask, I just want do it. I want to show. I want to exemplify it in our community and we have the space and opportunity to do that now.\u201d<\/p>\n

Back in the courtyard, another friend makes his way over to give his two cents. Bryant Cross, 30, one of the emcees of the night, says he\u2019s heard a lot of poets.<\/p>\n

\u201cA lot of them don\u2019t mean what they say. It\u2019s just a show or it\u2019s just an act or just something to do, right? It\u2019s like a persona,\u201d he says. \u201c[Ayinde] really is the person that he talks about in his stuff. And for me that\u2019s a really rare thing: someone who\u2019s authentic and original.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright, alright,\u201d Ayinde says, waving him off.<\/p>\n

Photo at top: Ayinde performs “Prisons” at The Gala’s old location at CityPoint Loft in Chinatown. He also performs at other open mics around the city and periodically with the Seneke West African Percussion Ensemble (Bryant Cross\/YouTube)<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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