{"id":8602,"date":"2015-02-25T18:37:45","date_gmt":"2015-02-26T00:37:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/news.medill.northwestern.edu\/chicago\/?p=8602"},"modified":"2015-03-03T11:47:50","modified_gmt":"2015-03-03T17:47:50","slug":"the-road-to-recovery-mom-and-daughter-bond-to-defeat-an-eating-disorder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/news.medill.northwestern.edu\/chicago\/the-road-to-recovery-mom-and-daughter-bond-to-defeat-an-eating-disorder\/","title":{"rendered":"The Road to recovery: mom and daughter bond to defeat eating disorder"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Priyam Vora<\/p>\n

\u201cI just wanted to look pretty. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be thin.\u201d<\/p>\n

These are 26-years-old Ashley Ice\u2019s words when she speaks about the eating disorder that she battled for six long years. \u00a0And she was thin \u2013 so thin that her young heart was failing.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was 13 years old then. I didn\u2019t know my thoughts had deeper roots like self-esteem issues and negative body image,\u201d she says. \u201cI focused on what a child would interpret as an innocent desire to look pretty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley during the worst phase of her life, when her doctor said her heart was failing. “My goal then was just to be thin,” she says. (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

At the age of 12,\u00a0 growing up in Naperville, Ashley suffered from bulimia. Within a year and a half of receiving treatment; she relapsed into anorexia. It took her six years of treatment and counseling along with unconditional love from her mother to completely recover from the eating disorders by age 18.<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley when she was 17 years old and getting better. \u201cYou can see I am smiling now. It\u2019s like the picture reflects my internal state. I fought my demons,\u201d she says. (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cThe need to belong\u201d was not a default cause for her eating disorder.\u00a0Yes,\u00a0social desirability was a strong trigger in her case. But she said the triggers included a variety of mundane factors such as the beliefs you are raised with, the company you keep, the media culture you are exposed to when you are still na\u00efve.<\/p>\n

During her bulimia, Ashley didn\u2019t indulge in binge-eating as much as she purged while sticking to an already restrictive diet. During anorexia, in addition to limiting her eating, she over-exercised. Her exercise routine escalated to three hours daily.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven though I knew somewhere that I wouldn\u2019t really lose weight by exercising so much,\u201d she said, \u201cmy mindset was fixated on losing weight.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley poses with her boyfriend, who is seated at a party. She proudly says that she has been free of her eating disorder since 8 years \u201cIt\u2019s good to be free,\u201d she says. (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Eating disorders have far-reaching effects on psychological and physical well-being. While Ashley battled with her eating disorder, she suffered from repeated bouts of depression as well as from obsessive compulsive disorder. She believes that not eating well and not getting the right nutrition affects the brain \u201cin ways you cannot imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cPsychologically, the disorder made me pull away from people. I become an introvert,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Physically, Ashley reached the worst point of her life when her percentage of body fat dropped to 0 percent. The normal body fat percentage is 10-12\u00a0for women and 2-4\u00a0for men, according to the American Council on Exercise<\/a>. Since her heart didn\u2019t have the necessary fat to protect it, she experienced abnormal heart beats and her body started eating into her muscle to survive.<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley (right) with her best friend. \u201cDuring my purging, my friends threatened to tell my mom about my behavior,\u201d says Ashley. \u201cI hated them then, now I am only grateful to them.\u201d (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cMy cardiologist came into my room and told me \u2018Your heart is failing. You are going to die.\u2019 That moment, I still remember vividly, was the turning point of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her friends and her counselors had been an important part in her recovery, but she said she owes so much of her gratitude to her mother, who stood by her at every point.<\/p>\n

Kathy Ice, Ashley\u2019s mother, said it was much later when she learned her daughter had so serious an eating disorder. She knew that Ashley fell sick too often and would be too exhausted to attend\u00a0 school, but she didn\u2019t really understand the magnitude of the problem then. When all her efforts to talk to Ashley fell flat, Kathy spoke to Ashley\u2019s best friend who was aware of her purging behavior.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was only when she [Ashley\u2019s best friend] showed me a picture of Ashley throwing up in the bathroom,\u201d Kathy said. \u201cEverything started making sense then.”<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley poses with her colleagues at ANAD where she is a member of the Junior Board. \u201cI want to dedicate my life to helping anybody who is going through an eating disorder..it is very personal to me,\u201d Ashley says. (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Kathy started talking to her daughter,\u00a0 in 7th <\/sup>grade at the time,\u00a0about the disorder in bits and pieces instead of asking her questions and sounding confrontational. Kathy said that the approach is\u00a0critical – it was very important to not come on to Ashley as an imposing mother but as a friend.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was already struggling with her problems,\u201d Kathy said. \u201cI didn\u2019t want her to shut down from me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ashley lives in Chicago now and is a member Junior Board of the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders <\/a>and works for the association. She said that recovery is not easy but is very much achievable. The key to recovery is self-awareness, she said. It took her a long time before she even realized she was facing an eating disorder. The need to control was so over-powering that it became a part of her, and soon enough, she stopped seeing her disorder as an enemy.<\/p>\n

\"Ashley<\/a>
Ashley (right) with her mother Kathy. \u201cOh I am so proud of her,\u201d says Kathy. \u201cShe is a beautiful young woman now and is helping other girls overcome their dark phase. What more could I want.\u201d (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s like you know it\u2019s wrong but by then you are used to it,\u201d she said. \u201cIt becomes an addiction.\u201d<\/p>\n

She added that, unlike many other disorders, an eating disorder promotes secrecy. It can take a very long time before your loved ones even realize you are going through something so serious and dangerous.<\/p>\n

Kathy agreed. It was precisely this \u201csecretiveness\u201d that made it so difficult for her to recognize\u00a0Ashley\u2019s disorder.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was very good at hiding it and making me think everything was okay,\u201d Kathy said. \u201cShe would wear big baggy clothes. I just didn\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\u201cI<\/a>
\u201cI am not afraid that I will relapse into that phase again,\u201d Ashley says confidently. \u201cI want to lead by example. I want to inspire.\u201d (Ashley Ice\/Courtesy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Nonetheless, Kathy knew what had to be done. Even though her daughter hated her for trying to change her, she fought all odds to continue Ashley\u2019s therapy sessions and counseling.<\/p>\n

“Every morning when we left for treatment, we fought. She hated me, she blamed me for the disease. She cried, she screamed, she kicked,\u201d Kathy said. \u201cAs a mother, I was consumed with confusion and guilt.”<\/p>\n

Ashley said that with time, she realized that her disorder was not without a ripple effect. Her struggles affected her mother so much that she too suffered from severe depression.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy mom was so worried about me all the time, that she forgot to take care of herself,\u201d Ashley said.<\/p>\n

Ashley said she decided to overcome her problems for her mother. She didn\u2019t want to be the reason her mother cried.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd it has worked well,\u201d Ashley smiled. \u201cIt\u2019s been eight years that I am free. It\u2019s good to be free.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n

“You are the more than just your body,” says Ashley Ice, who battled her way to recovery for six years. She says she hopes more girls would stop obsessing with body image. Photo at top: Flickr\/ Charlotte Astrid<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Priyam Vora \u201cI just wanted to look pretty. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be thin.\u201d These are 26-years-old Ashley Ice\u2019s words when she speaks about the eating disorder that she battled for six long years. \u00a0And she was thin \u2013 so thin that her young heart was failing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":8612,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,243],"tags":[211],"class_list":["post-8602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health-and-science","category-winter-2015","tag-featured"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Road to recovery: mom and daughter bond to defeat eating disorder - Medill Reports Chicago<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/news.medill.northwestern.edu\/chicago\/the-road-to-recovery-mom-and-daughter-bond-to-defeat-an-eating-disorder\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Road to recovery: mom and daughter bond to defeat eating disorder - Medill Reports Chicago\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"By Priyam Vora \u201cI just wanted to look pretty. 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I wanted to be accepted. 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