By Sam Dier
Medill Reports
It took Courtney Brame four years after his herpes simplex virus type 2, or HSV-2, diagnosis to begin seeking out information about his positive status. An invasive Google search led him to multiple support groups, mostly private, filled with members shame-ridden by their diagnosis. It was there that he noticed how hard it was for so many to handle the stigma of the virus, some pushed to the point of suicidal thoughts.
So, he did what any normal person would do. He started a podcast.
“It was in those spaces that I started to see how serious of an issue people had with the stigma and that serious issue being to the extreme point of suicidal ideation,” Brame said. “So, it began with me just asking people in the support group if they wanted to share their experience for the sake of someone who might be struggling.”
In 2017, Brame would hit the record button for the first time with the intention of helping his small community navigate their diagnosis and the stigma. With zero prior podcasting experience, Brame has evolved “Something Positive for Positive People,” or SPFPP, into a community of its own, allowing space for its 27,000-plus listeners to heal through conversation and shared experiences.
“Our sexualities are so interconnected with our identities that when a herpes diagnosis comes in, it shatters who we think we are, and now we have to put those pieces back together,” Brame said. “It’s through herpes that people are able to heal, learn, grow and make themselves into people who can dissolve the stigma within themselves by going directly to the source.”
The self-funded podcast and accompanying nonprofit organization invite listeners to sit in on intelligent herpes-related conversations discussed by the positive experts themselves. Each roughly hourlong episode explores topics like consent, communication, disclosure and sex positivity. While it began as a sort of suicide prevention resource, SPFPP has quickly evolved into a safe space and one-stop shop for HSV and sexually transmitted infection information, something Brame expressed is otherwise lacking across the web.
“What people ultimately come to find out throughout their journey is that the information is inconsistent, and a lot of the information is conducted by people who either don’t have herpes or don’t know what it’s like to have herpes,” Brame said.
To solve this issue, Brame took it upon himself to create one of the largest U.S.-based HSV-related data sets with over 1,100 herpes-positive contributors, and the results are eye-opening.
Over 30% of participants stated that their health care provider did not allow for an opportunity to ask questions after their diagnosis. Roughly 70% did not know that oral herpes, or cold sores, could be transmitted to a partner’s genitals. And the stat that really made Brame look twice? Over 36% of HSV-positive folk contemplated suicide after their diagnosis.
This number, Brame explains, simply reinforces the many late nights spent editing episodes to perfection. It gives him the fuel to keep going.
“Anytime that I am feeling symptoms of burnout, I now have that statistic in mind to think about,” Brame said.
Herpes is a convoluted diagnosis. Not only does it come with a surplus of unnecessary shame, but the weight of having to disclose to each and every potential partner can put anyone into an infinite spiral. It is something that is spoken about so little, and when it is, it is usually in the context of a joke or a “lesson learned.”
So, where does society begin in breaking down the HSV stigma?
“Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it,” says Dr. Evelin Dacker, a sexual health expert and SPFPP board member. “That’s how we’re going to destigmatize sex. All these viruses are really just metaphors for our shame. We de-shame it by talking about it.”
With a continuous stream of weekly episodes, Brame continues to speak his truth and validate the experiences of others, something even more important considering his unique presence.
Not only is Brame successfully advocating for a shame-free diagnosis, but as one of the few men of color in this space, his fresh and unique perspective also helps to reach those who may be hesitant to explore the deep-rooted insecurities a herpes diagnosis tends to dig up, explained Tricia Wise, founder of Safe Slut, a sex-positive advocacy and holistic wellness site.
“It is so important for this space to have a man’s perspective because a lot of men have a hard time talking about their diagnosis,” Wise said. “The work he’s doing is exceptional and so necessary.”
Brame has created a space unlike any other. Advocates state that his distinct approach to suicide prevention has helped heal a vulnerable population that can’t help but be empowered by the stream of information that Brame himself wishes he was offered at the beginning of his journey.
As Brame says, “Life is about what happens through you, not to you.”
Sam Dier is a social justice journalism graduate student at Medill. You can follow her on Twitter at @DierSam.
Listen to Something Positive for Positive People on the website or any podcast-streaming platform.
